I’ve been participating in a forum discussion over at DigitalPoint on the topic of sex as a commodity. The views have been interesting and because most of the members are male there’s a definate slant to the conversation.
Lets face it, what guy wants to think that his best feature is his wallet? But then, how often do you look at the snappy convertible and find the owner is a paunchy, balding exec type – that car is bolstering his self esteem for sure, but what about his pulling power? He may not admit it but it helps.
I’m not sure of the law here so I’ll comment carefully, but there’s a bar owner in town who would pick up young (straight) guys saying “would you like to go for a ride in my [brand] car” and being young, impressionable souls they would. Next thing he has to collect something from his office, spikes a drink and these boys are being had. Well, that’s what he got convicted of if I remember correctly, and he’s appealing the conviction so we’ll see. But here’s a guy who definately appeared to be using the pulling power of this $$$.
The flip side is what girl wants to fall in love with a loser who can’t manage his money? And so why date someone if you’re not interested in falling in love with them?
What guy wants to date a girl who just wants to get married and quit her job?
But that’s all while you’re young and single and full of optimism.
What about 20 years down the track. Will you be like Gretchen and Meredith – pulling together come what may – or destroying each other. Unfortunately there are plenty of couples destroying each other but their financial situation means they choose not to split. They can, they just choose not to because the financial hardship will be harder to bear than each other’s company. Is that more honourable than only starting a relationship based on wealth?
And consider the class structure that permeates every society where it’s frowned upon to socialise or marry outside your class or caste. That system is set up so that everyone understands the strata that they are in, how the money works, what needs to be done. It affects how we even make ourselves available for dating. Do you go to smart bars, or poor pubs? Do you take part in sports because you like the sport, or because the people are great.
Lets not pretend that money isn’t a factor when you’re dating.
That said, I met my husband at the Oktoberfest in an alcoholic haze and he was finding it hard to find work in London. The cashflow may have been low but the attitude was fantastic and I knew that together we’d be great.